A girl with God and a lot of yeses in the middle

Sunday, July 1, 2012

What if you said no??

I think about this a lot.  What if I had said no to this adventure in Haiti?  What if I changed my mind and decided that it's too hard, too hot, too uncomfortable, and not worth it.  I would be so sad.

Yesterday was amazing!!! Our neighbors here are a British organization working in some really remote mountainous areas in and around Leogane & have become special friends of ours.  Because they are a larger organization they also have really large vehicles that can do almost anything.  One of their staff members called us to go on a what became a 5 hour adventure up & down unpaved mountainside roads yesterday.  Literally at one point we were driving along a mountain ridge on a red mud path if you will.  You for sure need a 4x4 vehicle for that, and the handy dandy land cruiser can do it.

While on the ride up I was talking about how my enjoyment of and love for adventure & specifically hiking has been growing.  I am a nervous scared type & my fear is usually what keeps me from enjoying things that are amazing.  For example, hiking down steep mountains makes me really, really, really nervous.  Ask my team.  I am afraid I'll fall and get hurt, which I've done many times.  Another thing standing in the way of my desire to be an adventure seeker is that I have really bad motion sickness and always have.  So, yesterday while 4 wheel driving it up & down mountains my insides felt a little churned.  And, although I am quite an expressive person, this rustling of my innards usually leaves me very silent.

The thing with adventure for me & hiking in particular is that it 1. Scares me, 2. Makes me really uncomfortable.  While we were on just a little mini hike yesterday I was self-talking the whole way up, you can do this, just be bold, take a step, find a secure rock, don't psych yourself out, when you get there it will be worth it, don't let fear overtake you.  Are you catching where I'm going with this?

What if I had said no to this mountain trek yesterday??  This is what I wouldn't have been able to experience first hand.

Hiking & adventurous activities scare me less, but they still scare me.  However the more I jump the more I find out I get caught every time.  The people I was with wouldn't have let anything happen to me, and if I had gotten sick we would've stopped, but my own fear would've kept me from seeing those views above.  My fear would have kept me from seeing a Haiti that's trash free, dust free, full of life and working together, and it would have kept me from a beauty that's hard to describe with words or display through iphone photos.

Adventure with God is only that much more risky, that much more frightening, and that much more beautiful.  Teach me God to fear you and not miss out because of fear of what could be hard, painful, or uncomfortable.  It's not easy, but it is beautiful beyond compare.

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