A girl with God and a lot of yeses in the middle

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Tonight it has taken me a while to get something to write about.  I started writing a couple of posts and then I talked to a dear friend of mine on skype and we talked about how much waiting I do in Haiti.

Yesterday I had to go to the bank.  It took us over an hour to withdraw money from our account.  There are no atms here, there are no drive up windows, you simply wait a lot.  Today our propane tank ran out.  This isn't a huge inconvenience it just means we can't really cook for ourselves for a few days. Thankfully we're headed on a team retreat to the south, but when we return we will wait.  We have to wait until there is a time to disconnect the tank, take it to a propane station, wait at the propane station, take it home and reconnect it.  In all reality that simple sequence of tasks will probably take half a day.  In Haiti you wait.

I feel very connected to the waiting here.  At the end of Psalm 27 there is an admonition to be strong and take heart and wait for the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Be strong, take heart, wait, and you get to see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living.  What does that even mean?  Where is the land of the living?  All I know is that I'm waiting.

To be very honest, I am waiting for some things I really want to have and that seem pretty awesome; things I would suspect are in the land of the living and yet I'm waiting for them: my husband, my children, prophetic promises to be fulfilled, the nations to come to Jesus, the return of Jesus, eternity.

In the waiting you gain something.  I think you gain patience.  You gain expectancy.  You have the opportunity to work out believing in faith.  You get to live Hope.  You become nearer to the Father.  The things I listed that I am waiting for are the things that I want more than anything else, but the waiting only develops a greater expectancy for what they will actually be like.  Who is my husband?  What will my kids be like?  When is a word fulfilled by the Word?  What will it look like when all declare that Jesus is Lord?  What will He really look like when he comes back?  What will it feel like to have every need and desire satisfied for all of time simply by the un-ending presence of God?  I have no answers to any of those questions, but I wait for the goodness of the Lord in the land of living.  In that land all those answers will dwell.  Even if the answers come at the end of my time, I will wait because he will satisfy.

I can't wait for all of those things to come to pass, but I really can't wait for eternity.  I sit and try to imagine what it will be like to be with the God head and all his glory and majesty for an indefinite amount of time.  The moments of my life where I've tasted or touched a drop of his glory, only make me hunger for it to never end.  The promise of eternity makes every day of waiting seem insignificant and worth whatever amount of frustration, disappointment, or pain it held.

He will come.  He will fulfill every word spoken over me.  I will wait with expectancy for Him to be himself.

I will wait for all those things, but I will long for his un-ending presence.

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has spoken to her will be accomplished.
Luke 1:45

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