A girl with God and a lot of yeses in the middle

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Evenings & Easter

A few of you commented on the blog and have emailed me about things you want to know about.  The main theme I was getting from people was, "what do you your evenings look like?"  Ok everybody prepare to be amazed.

We don't do much.  With the lack of city power and street lights it's unsafe to be outside of our gate after it gets dark and it gets dark around 6pm.  As a house we generally eat dinner together which consists of rice, beans, and a vegetable sauce.  This is also what we eat for lunch every day.  I eat a lot of rice & beans, I'll say that much.  I take a shower in the evenings.  This is actually a very significant part of my day.  It is the 20 minute window of my day where I am cool & I am clean.  The rest of the day I'm hot and dirty.  Whether I'm dirty from sweat or dirty from the dust and mud that is Haiti, I'm dirty all the time.

One of my teammates and I have grown fond of 2 hammocks that we have on our porch upstairs.  1 or 2 nights a week we lay in the hammocks just processing life with each other.  It's nice to have a friend who literally knows and feels the emotions that I feel. We'll lay in the hammocks for an hour or so and talk.  It's become a very sweet time for me.

Evenings are also my time to connect with people back home.  We have faster internet after 5 so that's when I skype with family and friends!

Every Wednesday night is team fun night.  We usually cook dinner together, watch a movie together, or play a game.  The kids on our team come over and it's really fun!  We also work out in the evenings, whether it's a workout video or a run before it gets dark.  It's hard to work out here but it's also really fun!  So our evenings are slow, but nice.

At times there are nights that are so slow it's hard.  Monday night was one of those.  Not a lot happened and I was processing my Easter holiday.  In the last now 9 weeks! I've felt so much closer to the reality of death and resurrection.  The resurrection of Jesus which defeated death, brought the promise of hope and eternal life, was in fact proceeded by his death.  Paul would say things like death is at work in me so life may be produced in you.  I've never felt closer to that statement than I do here.  Jesus died; and then he was resurrected.

Easter came with mixed emotions.  We celebrated the death & resurrection of Jesus.  What a wonderful thing to celebrate.  But, I celebrated it on a porch, in Haiti, with new people.  Many of you know my family and the strangeness of our closeness.  Literally every holiday is a big deal and it usually involves 8-30 people.  This was my first holiday to miss through out my time in Haiti.  It's the first of many.  It stung and stings a little.  We had a very fun time as a team.  We even had easter baskets and went on an easter egg hunt.  But, it wasn't home.  It was here.  I've actually had the hardest time with missing my family.  All of them.  Mom, dad, sisters, brother, cousins, nieces, grandparents, aunts, uncles, second cousins, I mean the full list of relatives you could have I have them and miss them.  Easter was small in Texas this year, but I wasn't in Texas.  I know my family has not died, but in very real ways daily/weekly/monthly life with them has.  It hurts.  I want to be able to drive my Volkswagen up highway 35 or east on Highway 31 and hang out for the weekend, but I can't.  I know it sounds dramatic, but it's my current reality.

But where there is death, in Jesus, there is always a greater reality and a greater amount of life to be resurrected.  If Jesus had not died, he could not have been resurrected from the dead and then defeated death itself.  So, what does that mean for me.  I really believe with all my heart that God is doing something in me that is much greater than what I can see.  The death, or loss of my daily life with my family, is producing something in Haiti, in the village we work in, in our believers we work with, that I simply can't see or understand.  Where there is death at work in me, life is being produced somewhere else.

There's a scripture that says unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies it will not produce anything.  Well, there is some produce somewhere cause this hurts sometimes.  Now I know, in the grand scheme of the global universe my pain is minuscule compared to the extreme poverty in the nation I currently live in, the nations of the world, and just the pain that exists.  But, it is my pain, and I must own it.  I must grieve it and I must be healed from it.  I must die, but I also must be resurrected.

So I would encourage you to ask, "what hurts in me today? what feels like it has died or passed away? what stings? and ask God with hope "in this where are you producing life?"

The greatest reality is, HE WILL ALWAYS PRODUCE LIFE
John 10:110


  1. Amanda...just know we think about you alot! I know your family thinks of you every day! So they will patiently...or not so patiently await the time that they can see you and reconnect with you...but in the meantime, you are a brave, awesome warrior for Christ! You are living a dream so many have, but are too scared to pursue! We admire you and love you and hope you are growing and learning (even if it's mostly dirty and sweaty) - can't wait to see the Amanda that is "resurrected" from your time in Haiti!

  2. Amanda i am a little behind but was so moved at what you had shared regarding you sense of loss. Rick and I were reading together the other day and felt like the Lord gave us this scripture and feel it is very applicable to you right now.

    The God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that Great Shepherd of the Sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what's well pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Heb. 13:20-21

  3. Amanda, that was beautiful! Thank you for once again putting into words what I am feeling and most of the time can't get out of me. I love reading your posts...they are entertaining, insightful into your life, and challenging me to more in God. You in and of yourself have always been an encouragement and even in your blog in a foreign country you encourage and inspire me!