A girl with God and a lot of yeses in the middle

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Being a hero

So, those of you that followed this blogging thing with me before I left know that I was into a jogging thing before I left.  I've continued here in the tropics.  However, IT IS MUCH HARDER.  The air is so dense with humidity. I think I sweat in one 2 mile run the same amount I drank that entire day, and there are new road blocks I'm not accustomed to; cows, horses, the poop of those cows and horses, bathing men & women, sugar cane stalks, an occasional child who runs along side of us, and AMAZING sunsets.

The first time I ran was about a month ago and I think I got about 3/4 of a mile and then literally thought I was going to die.  Our neighborhood has very dusty roads so as you breathe in deeply you also inhale amazing amounts of dust.  Before I left for Haiti I had reached a high 3.6 miles so to only be able to go 3/4 a mile felt a little defeating.

We've found a much more beautiful place to run, where the poop is ironically, on a trail that follows a creek through sugar cane fields.  It's incredible.  It's really fun to run there.  I've always heard different people talk about revelations from God they would get while running.  I think I had my first one yesterday.

This feels a bit vulnerable, but who cares.  There are 2 girls on my team who are pretty incredible athletes.  They "jog" with me as I "run."  I've found myself comparing myself to them often when we run.  I wish I could run as fast, I wish I was as lean, I wish I was able to keep up or surpass, I wish I was like them.  The reality is I am not them, I am me.  Slow, but steady.  Yesterday as we were running through these fields I had that comparison thing creep back in, oh it's so nasty, and it said, "run harder, keep up, be like them."  As I started to give into that nasty voice I heard the kind yet stern words of the Father, "don't try to be a hero."  I was immediately struck with the kindness in his rebuke.  It also took me on a trail of thought, as I was on a trail of poop ;)

There is a scripture that talks about disciplining yourself, persevering, and running so as if to win the prize.  The thought I had was, "who determines the nature of the prize?"  Is the prize some rock solid calf muscles?  Is the prize a t-shirt from the first "real" race I run in?  Or is the prize something else?  I think the Father determines the prize we are running for and many times I think the prize is simply himself.  When I discipline my body to run, I get something physically. I have energy, my heart is healthier, I sleep better, and I look better.  When I discipline my life around the nature & prize of God I get something.  Affection, comfort, power, and many other things from the living God.

I know this is long, but I've got a lot to say tonight.  Another parallel I felt he was revealing was my pace.  I do not run fast, but I run slow and I won't stop running.  Meaning, I will be barely moving but I won't start walking until I'm finished with my run.  He started speaking about my gifting set, my character, and  that I run like I am.  There is something about steadiness, consistency, and a spirit who won't give up.  I am not a hero.  I do not win 100 yard dashes.  I live a radical life, but I rarely come up with radical ideas.  I am faithful and I am consistent.  I have used the same toothbrush and the same toothpaste for like 15 years.  (I mean I buy new toothbrushes).  I don't need to be a hero, and I don't need to try and win 100 yard dashes.  I love to follow the people in the kingdom who win those 100 yard dashes.  They push me to a place I wouldn't go myself, and at the same time they need me.  They need someone who will make sure the starting line is in place, that the finish line has a ribbon, and that someone shoots the starting gun.  If we all ran 100 yard dashes we'd just be really fast instead of whole.  1 Corinthians 12 is very true.  We are one body many parts, and no one part is better or more valuable than another.  The parts just do different stuff.  They run different races, at different paces, and for different results.

So, what is the nature of the prize in the kingdom, and who determines what it's nature will be?  I think if you ask the Father, "what is your prize for me?" he will answer you.  Run after that prize and none other.  Do not run after another's prize, you'll be disappointed because the race will wear you out and the prize won't be as great as you thought.  Another's prize was not intended to bring YOU joy and delight.  


  1. Amanda, thank you for sharing this! Crying now...thankful for your wisdom and words from God.

  2. Friend, you continue to inspire me! I have needed your steady pace many times before- IT IS SO TRUE ABOUT YOU. Taking in your revelation for myself too. Love you and talk to you soon!

  3. Amanda - wow, thanks for being vulnerable. So blessed to be able to learn from you even as you are miles away... So proud of you and honored to know you, oh Steady One!... Love you.

  4. Such an encouragement! I am not a sprinter either, and it is so good to be reminded that speed is not necessarily what God is looking for.
    You are definitely one who runs for the prize, and the reward is going to be amazing!
    Katie Wong